Thursday, 17 January 2013

Flourishing Relationships - The problem with socks....

"True love is like a pair of socks; you’ve got to have two and they’ve got to match." Erich Fromm.

A match made in Heaven?
The problem with socks is that sometimes you loose one.What was once a pair now becomes a solo item and it either gets discarded or left all alone at the bottom of the drawer.

Relationships can be a bit like socks. We sometimes loose a relationship and end up feeling discarded like the single sock at the bottom of the drawer.

Being a "single sock" when you have been in a long term relationship can be quite daunting and rather lonely.However, it does not have to be that way.

Here are some tips to help you recover and if you wish, find another "sock" to make up a new pair.

  • Heal and let go of any resentment, anger, hurt, jealousy, and other negative emotions that arise.
  • Understand and be grateful for the things that you learned from being in that relationship.
  • Think about your beliefs about relationships and if they are negative, do something about changing them. 
  • Think about what you expect from others with whom you are having relationships. Do you expect too much or not enough?
  • Be prepared to change yourself so that you can attract "socks" with whom you can match up.
People who are in relationships, unlike socks, do not have to be identical to make a good pair.In fact valuing the differences in each partner is healthy.But they do need to have some shared attitudes, beliefs and perspectives to make a good match. 
And remember, relationships need to be nurtured not taken for granted. Or, like socks, one day one of the pair will have gone missing.

Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitator at Flourishing Relationships Retreats

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