Monday, 5 November 2012

Flourishing Relationships - Commitment with a capital "C"

You have met the love of your life. 
You have come through the early stages of your relationship with all the excitement, sex and to some degree illusion. 
Setting up House

You are now ready to take the next step in your relationship. For some that means marriage, for some it means setting up house together. Either way it means commitment with a capital "C".

Let's look at the word "commitment". According to my dictionary :
"commitment means undertaking or pledge that restricts freedom of action." 

Many people are afraid of commitment and this definition shows why. No one wants their freedom of action restricted.

I believe that commitment within a relationship is about being true to each other. In western society, as we know, it means that we only have one life partner and restrict our sexual activity to that partner.

However, commitment does not mean that we are restricted from growing and changing ourselves. It is not a licence to restrict our partner and stop them from learning and growing either. In fact commitment is  about helping each other to learn and grow.

As  Kahlil Gibran says in his book The Prophet:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

What more can I say?

Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitator at Flourishing Relationships Retreats

No comments:

Post a Comment