Monday, 21 October 2013

Flourishing Relationships - Friends, vampires and other people

I am very grateful for the people who have been and who are in my life. Through them I have learned a lot, had lots of experiences and got to know myself better.
Sometimes the experiences with some of them have not been happy ones. Sometimes being with a particular someone has been like having  a mirror held up to me to show me something about myself, whether I liked it or not.
Best of Friends

The people that I have known have given me the opportunity to experience a whole range of emotions from anger to love and everything in between.  They have given me memories that I cherish and memories that I have had to heal.

They have shown me the difference between pseudo-friends and real friends. And the real friends, those who have stuck with me through time are the ones I cherish most.

There are people however, that we should not hang on to.
 Some people are energy vampires. These people do not know how to re-fill their own “batteries” so they take energy from the people that they are with.
Have you ever felt drained after being with someone? They go off all sparky and cheerful having been with you; leaving you feeling like a wet dishrag and in need of a strong coffee! If this has happened to you then ease this person out of your life. This is not a healthy relationship. And healthy relationships are what we need.

Then there are the people who do not want to grow themselves in any way and they resent and are fearful of those who do.  So they try to pull us back to their level. Common signs are when we are told things like: “You have changed; you are not the same person anymore”. “You are getting above yourself”. “Aren’t we good enough for you these days?”
These sorts of comments are designed to make us feel guilty and bad about ourselves and what we are achieving.

And then there are the "Dream Killers". People who, when you tell them your dream go out of their way to burst your bubble. They ridicule you and tell you how dreams never come true and that you are just being silly thinking that you could achieve your dream.

My suggestion: Ignore these kinds of comments. Let these people leave your life, even if they are family members. Follow your heart and keep going.
Stick with your true friends; the people, who love, support and encourage you no matter what.

As Richard Bach says in his book Illusions:

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life.
Rarely do members of the one family grow up under the same roof.”

“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”

Hilary Thompson

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