When we are in this state of unrest, we can not resolve issues. We do not think clearly, all we do is react.
There are a number of reasons why we are triggered into reacting, for example:
- Circumstances can project us subconsciously into childhood where we were hurt or frightened in some way, so we react as if we were still that child.
- Emotions like guilt, envy, resentment, anger, humiliation etc, can all cause us to react and can be at the root of our reaction.
- Blaming other people for what is happening rather than looking in your own backyard.
So when you are pounding on the shore of your relationship like the surf pounding on the beach, stop for a while.
|Calm Seas and Soft Sand|
Think about how you could approach your partner to discuss the issue with kindness and compassion.
Then you have a chance to calm the seas of your emotions and resolve the issue you have been fighting about.
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitator at Flourishing Relationships Retreats