Getting Married? Then read this before you plan your wedding day.

Many of us at some stage in our lives find ourselves getting married. Some are lucky enough to find the right partner and stay married for life, but many marriages falter and couples split up.

When we are young and in love, the idea of marriage seems a bit like a fairy tale like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty and how they all live happily ever after with the handsome man getting his beautiful bride.

There is all the hype and drama about the wedding itself; the venue, the ceremony, the Brides outfit, the wedding guests, presents, Bucks nights, Hens nights etc, etc,

I often wonder if couples actually think about their life after the wedding and what it is that each of them wants from the marriage. Here are a few questions that I think each partner should ask them selves and each other before the Big Day.

1.      What do you want from this relationship?

2.    What are the qualities that your partner has that you love the most?

3.     Do you feel love and respect for your partner?

4.    Do you feel that your partner loves and respects you?

5.     What is it that your partner does that you like the least?

6.    What does your partner do on a regular basis that makes you feel loved?

7.     What does “Being Loved” mean to you?

There are other topics that need to be discussed and agreed upon such as:

·        whether or not they want to have children and how many.

·        how they manage their money.

·        how they work together at home with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping and all those jobs that we all have to do around the house.

·        what is important to each partner regarding their lifestyle.

·        what are their visions for their future together.

These are just a few things that I think it is important for couples to think about long before their actual wedding if they are going to have a successful marriage. And remember, as in any relationship, marriages need to worked on and nurtured, not taken for granted.
Hilary Thompson
The Out and About Therapist
Facilitatorat Flourishing Relationships Retreat